Year of The Zombie

Most of us make a resolution at the beginning of every year: lose weight, quit smoking, go back to school, etc... However, it seems to me that no one ever fully commits to the changes they so desperately want in their lives. The truth is, most people are just too lazy and set in their ways.

I've decided to set some goals for myself, and by golly I am going to follow through! If I don't, well... we are all going to die during the zombie apocalypse of 2012 anyway, so I guess I won't feel too bad.

Goals:

1.) STAY SINGLE: I have always been one of those people in a relationship. Thinking back on it, since I've started dating I don't think I have ever been single longer than six or seven months at a time. Usually when I meet a "potential someone," I rush in without really getting to know them. Then I act all surprised when I discover that they are a giant tool. I don't really need to "find myself" or anything like that, I just feel burnt out and need some "me time." Once I am back in the game, there are a few things I want to avoid...

• Guys that have slept with 95% of the local population: I don't know how I manage to do it, but I always end up dating dudes that have been with a ridiculous amount of women. It isn't a jealous issue or anything, it's just uncomfortable going out with your boyfriend and knowing that he's slept with almost every girl at the party.
  
  
• Guys that wear girl pants: Yeah, I know... you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, and I am sure there are some really nice men out there that wear ladies jeans... However, MOST of the people I have been with that wear girls pants are self-centered hipster assholes. Besides, it leaves more to the imagination when I can't see the outline of your peep through your denim.
  
  
• Guys with kids: Now, I actually feel kind bad about this one. My last boyfriend had a child and he wasn't an awful human being. The thing is, I have dated two men with kids and it's all the drama I can't handle. Both times the exs were insane, and I very often wanted to pull my hair out over it. I am a very relaxed person and GREATLY enjoy having a peaceful life, when some crazy bitch is blowing up your phone and sending you e-mails, serenity is hard to achieve. I am young enough that I can very easily find someone without children (I feel like this gets harder the older you get.)
  
  
• Guys from my home town: In the city I grew up in, everyone is pretty familiar with each other. Even if you don't know someone personally, you seem to know all of their business. Within my circle of peers, we have all dated one another. This causes a HUGE disruption in the force. It's time to meet new people... from a different city.

2.) GET HEALTHY: This is some what out of my control as I have two incurable diseases (Crohn's & Colitis) but there are steps I should be taking to keep myself as "healthy" as possible.

• I am by no means fat (I am 95lbs and 5ft tall) or even "chubby" but I could be in way better shape then I am. I went from going to the gym three to four times a week, to not exercising at all. I've recently started working out again, and let me tell you it sucks. It's exhausting, I hurt everywhere, I'm sore everyday and all I want to do is sleep... but I know eventually it wont be so terrible, and I'm already feeling the mental benefits. (I've code named this "Operation Get Sexy" awesome I know.)
  
  
• I know I have said it before, but I am going to quit smoking this year. We all know how bad smoking is, it causes cancer, labored breathing, coughing fits, premature aging etc... but it is especially bad for me. It dramatically increases the frequency of my Crohn's flare ups. I've already had three major surgeries, I don't really have too much left to take out. I owe it to myself to make sure I live the longest, and most enjoyable possible.
  
  
• I eat pretty healthy meals for the most part, I very rarely eat fast food or frozen meals, I drink tons of water, eat plenty of fresh veggies and fruit. But soda, I love the stuff... in fact I crave it sometimes. I've done a good job at cutting back, but trying to quit drinking soda is like trying to quit smoking crack. Another thing I need to do is stop eating things that irritate my disease, why does popcorn have to be so delicious!?
  
  
• I am VERY bad at taking my medications at the same time everyday. Honestly, sometimes I miss a dose all together. This is just plain bad, and honestly there is no excuse for it... I am an adult. My solution? I have started to set alarms on my phone for each dose. and I guess my last major goal for this year is...

3.) GET OUT OF DEBT: Between medical bills and some bad decisions over the last couple of years, I have managed to rack up a decent amount of debt. It is manageable but no matter how much money you owe, it always sucks paying it back.

So here's to bettering myself!
"I think I can, I think I can."