The Science of Sleep

Sleeping has always been a bit of an adventure: insomnia, sleep paralysis and vivid dreaming have plagued me for many years.

• Insomnia: Inability to obtain sufficient sleep. Difficulty in falling or staying asleep; sleeplessness.
  

  I have awful sleeping habits, liking drinking soda before bed or deciding that it's a great idea to troll the internet until 5:00 in the morning, but sometimes I straight up can't fall asleep. More often than not I find myself watching whatever TV show I happen to be into at the time on Netflix (This is currently Law & Order: SVU. Also see: Brutal nightmares about being kidnapped and raped.) For those of you that have not experienced insomnia for yourself, let me tell you... it's an interesting experience. After awhile you start to feel like you're inebriated, one minute you're on cloud nine and the next minute the smallest thing will send you into a homicidal rage (Roar!) I have taken prescription sleep aids and over the counter supplements, and while they definitely help you fall asleep, they also give you intense dreams (At least for me. Nicotine patches also had this effect.) Working out during the day seems to help me find sleep more easily, but the majority of the time I have to reach the point of complete physical and mental exhaustion.

• Sleep Paralysis: A condition in which, upon waking, a person is aware of their surroundings but is unable to move.
  

  Imagine this: you are warm and cozy in your bed, you flutter your eyes open and try to move your arms but nothing happens. Actually, you can't feel or move a single part of your body. Panicked, you try to call out to someone, that doesn't work either. There is also this strange sensation like someone is pressing on your chest. Your mind starts to go to weird places, and you begin to fear for yourself. Half asleep you is convinced there is something evil just out of your line of sight. After a few minutes you regain control of your body, you fling the blankets off, jump out of bed and attempt to compose yourself. Sounds awful right? It is, back in the olden days people believed it was caused by demon trickery. I had this more as a child, but a couple months ago it happened again (for the first time in years.)

• Vivid: Presenting the appearance, freshness, spirit, etc., of life; realistic. Dreaming: A succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep.
  

  I have always had extremely vivid dreams. I went through a phase once where I would have dreams that I was asleep. My cell phone would ding (letting me know I had a text message) and I'd wake up. I'd proceed to read said message/s and decide I'd wait until morning to answer, then it was back to slumber land. When I would ACTUALLY wake up, I'd pick up my phone and the messages I very clearly remembered getting were not there. The first couple times it happened I came to the conclusion that I was deleting them while half asleep. It wasn't until I asked a friend about one of these messages, that I put two and two together and figured out it wasn't really happening. These types of dreams can be rather fantastic when the content is right: spending time with loved ones, fighting off hoards of zombies, having sex, lightsaber battles, etc... Sometimes though, you have a vivid nightmare! I've actually had a number of these throughout my life, sometimes they are so bad that the idea of going back to sleep, and having the same dream again, is terrifying. A few months back I started a dream journal, when I wake up I write down everything I can remember about a particular dream. My conclusion is that I have a fucked up/over active imagination.

I like to tell myself that sleeping is overrated, even thought it is something essential to my health...

Eh... I'll sleep when I'm dead.